Retirement aka What the Heck Happened to My Parents?

Even though my Dad has been retired for 10 years, my Mom just retired in December. After visiting my family and Kiki's family, they were headed to Florida to escape the nasty New York winter. After stops at the St. Louis Arch and in Memphis to worship Elvis, that this where things started to get twilight zone like.

My Mom got a job at Lowe's because she decided she would be too bored otherwise. The kicker is that she was hired for the garden department. I inherited her black thumb as we both have trouble keeping cacti alive, it is hilarious that she now has thousands of plants to care for.

Then, their social life kicked up. They have been flitting about to poker, bingo, volunteering in the community, choir concerts, and getting up at 3 am to work the water stations at the Disney marathon. WTF? When did they get more of a life then me?

The kicker came one Saturday afternoon when Tom, Sophia and I were hunkered inside because it was snowing and they called. From where you ask? A boat in the Gulf of Mexico! That is just plain cruel!

Finally, don't even get me started on the flea markets and garage sales they attend. My Mom never even wanted to have a garage sale when I was growing up, much less go to one. Again, things get weird when photos of ceramic monkeys strapped into a stroller are sent to me from an unknown phone (aka Mom's friend Joanne). Really? We were very scared, we thought Mom had fallen off her rocker!

Seriously though, I am thrilled that they are enjoying themselves so much. OK, not so much when it is cold or rainy or when I am at work or when I wish I was on vacation. Love ya Mom and Dad!

Where Has 2010 Gone? A Look Back at 1st Quarter

January 1st started right - playing Beer Pong with Ray, Meghan and Meghan's parents. Reminds me of the snow storm when I was in college when my Dad and I set up a liquor cabinet on the floor and decided if we are stuck at home, we might as well drink. Picture my Mom standing over us, shaking her head in disbelief, but finally joining us.

Birthday Extravaganza on January 3rd where there is always too much Chandon involved. It usually requires a driver to take us the 2 miles to PF Chang's for a drunken Chinese lunch, followed by Starbuck's, Sephora and then passing out of exhaustion.

JCI January Board Meeting - karioke, too much sake, freezing my a** off as they prance us around STL and make us take pictures outside. Oh, and don't forget the Korean bombs!

National President's Meeting in Paraguay - tromping around summer camp in 95 degree heat, not feeling well. Learning that Carnivale was a full contact sport!

February 1st - Finding out we are pregnant and having to keep the secret to ourselves - cruel and ununsual punishment! Also, explains how crappy I was feeling tromping around the Paraguan jungle (see above).

Superbowl Party at my employee Tom's in Maine - eating about a pound of freshly cooked scallops and wondering why I did not feel well. Using the Designated Driver excuse as a reason not to drink.

Birthday Party at Rojo Mexican Bistro - using the "I gave up alcohol for lent" excuse as I was not drinking at my own birthday party. Do you see a theme here?

Bon Jovi Concert on St. Patrick's Day - Kid Rock showed up - do I need to detail how I turned into a stark raving lunatic when that happened?

Tom's Birthday Party - a bonfire in March, not our smartest idea ever, but fun, none the less!

A real vacation - non-JCI - can you imagine how geeked we were! 4 baseball games, swimming and sun burning and loads of putt-putt. Were we in heaven? No just Florida!

A busy and first quarter - it was just the start of a whirlwind year!

Florda Fun

I know, I am a slacker. It has been 3 weeks since I have written a blog. It is not because I did not want to, but things have been nuttier than a fruit cake lately. Work is in overdrive, we took a vacation and then I had 36 hours at home before heading out to California. I know, wha, wha, but add onto that a fever, a cold and lack a sleep, and that makes Michelle a very cranky girl.

Our trip to Florida was fun. We were all over the place, went to the pool, did fun things and saw friends and family. Here's some things I learned while I was on vacation:

1) No matter how overcast it is, wear sunscreen. I know, seems pretty obvious. But I was shivering so I figured, how is that even possible? Well it is and Tom and I looked like ripe tomatoes our 1st 1/2 day in Florida.

2) Shuffleboard is dangerous - you can easily lose a foot, or at least a toe, if you do not pay attention.

3) Miniature golf is a misnomer when the course looks like a moguls ski hill, the holes are over 100 feet long and it is a par 61. Did I also mention it took over 1 1/2 hours to play? I had the shot of the night though, a whole in one, where I promptly did my rock star pose.

4) Baseball rules do not apply in Spring training. It was thundering and lightening for 3 innings before the game was finally called in the 5th inning. Who knew that thunder and lightening is not dangerous in Florida?

5) Where but Miami can you be parking your car, when you spot the paparazzi chasing after Kim Kardashian. What really has she done?

6) Golf cart rides daily are a must. We went searching for alligators every day. What if we found one on land right near us? Really, I'm not sure we would have wanted to find them at that point.

7) The blue hairs flood the restaurants at 4:30 and the line is out the door. Go at 6 pm and you have the place to yourself!

8) Private Zoos are interesting. We were walking by the free roaming flamingos when we stumbled into the Jesus gardens. And you can't wear high heels to this zoo, because they apparently scare the birds. Who knew?

9) WT people are everywhere. While on Naples Pier, we ran across a shirtless wonder with a tattoo that said "Lady Luva." Are you kidding me? I am sure that is a positive role model for the kid you were dragging around with you.

10) Derek Jeter loves me! After waving at him like 5 times, he tipped his baseball cap at me during the inning at me. All the girl's behind me were jealous!

Oh, good times!

Random Thoughts from 2009 - Day 7

Putt-putting is a passion of mine. Tom and I have a family membership to the local mini golf place because we are regular customers. Course #3 is our favorite, we dislike holes #17 and #18 and we hate it when non-serious players slow us down. We seek out putt-putt courses when we travel. We found and played the only one on Maui in the scorching heat as we continued to aggravate our already burnt skin. We dragged Jaime to the course at Put in Bay where we learned navel history about Admiral Perry and I am on a first name basis with many of the courses in Myrtle Beach, where we used to go every fall of my childhood. They even had a course for 75 cents at the campsite we stayed at, so my sister and I golfed every day like we were Michelle Wie and Annika Sorenston. The hardest course I have ever been to was in London, Ontario. Fay, and I and our exes played a putt putt course with Par 5s and 6s. Are you sure we are not at St. Andrew's course? There were no borders, there were sand traps and again it was like 95 degrees. Definitely, a game not to forget. Disney World has awesome courses - Winter Wonderland, Summer Wonderland and Fantasia. I am ready for the mogul course in March when Tom and I head to Florida!

Kooky museums are also lots of fun to visit! The weirder the better. I have subjected my friends to the Call of the Wild taxidermy museum in northern Michigan, the surgical instruments museum in Chicago and the Kim Chi museum in Seoul. For God sake, who eats kim chi much less goes to a kim chi museum? Realistically, do we even know what it is? Tom and I braved the ghetto to go to the Christmas Story house in Cleveland, Molly and trekked to lower Manhattan to the Lower East Side Tenement Museum for our women's study class and I have even been to a Sake Museum. We'll have to see what pops up this year on the most interesting list!

Now if there was only a putt-putt museum, I think I would have died and gone to heaven!

Tales of the Taxi

I have a love/hate affair with taxis. They are convenient. They can still get stuck in traffic. They beat the heat of the summer. They can be smelly. They allow you more freedom than public transportation. They can be impossible to find when it is raining out.

Taxis can be dangerous (or at least the drivers driving them can be). My friend and fellow JCI Ben were in Monaco and had to go to Nice at 4 am to fly back to the States so our hosts arranged a taxi for us (since they were still partying). We crammed our enormous suitcases in to the taxi (mine definitely took up more space than his) and we were off. You would have thought we were on the Autobahn. We were zipping dangerously around curves in the French mountains. We were speeding on dark roads and God forbid if we met oncoming traffic or someone going too slow - we wove in and out of lanes like we were Mario Andretti. Ben and I had death grips on the holy shit handles and hoped we would make it to the airport in one piece (we knew we would be on time).

My husband Tom arrived in India after I did last fall and had to take a taxi from the airport at 1 in the morning. His first visit to a 3rd world country, he was leery, as we soon found out he should be. He did not get cheated out of money, as a voucher is pre-purchased, but he was almost cheated out of his dinner (as vomiting could have occurred) . The cab driver made the 45 minute drive from the airport to the hotel in 18 minutes. As Tom careened back and forth in the back seat, they dodged cows, rickshaws and elephants like they were playing Frogger.

Taxis can be used for odd events. In Panama, Lori, Lisa and I wanted to go to the Panama Canal so we hired a taxi for 3 hours. The driver drove us to the canal, we visited it, we ate lunch, and then the driver who would could not identify from sight came back up to us and asked if we were ready to go. I guess paying only 1/2 your fair up front helps keep the driver committed to you. It seemed odd to us to continue to pay a taxi driver to work for us while we were eating lunch, but everyone was doing it. When in Rome......

Taxis can be deceiving. This past weekend some friends who had over imbibed at Universal City Walk went to the taxi area, hopped in a yellow car and asked the driver to take them the 17 miles back to our hotel. When they got there, they asked, "How much?" The driver indicated, "I don't know, I am not a cab driver." What would possess someone to take my friends 17 miles without mentioning this???? They gave him $40 and got the hell out of there!

Finally, taxis can be downright unreliable. I was visiting NYC with an ex in December 2005 for a long weekend. We were having a great time until the last day. The taxi drivers decided to go on strike - there were NO taxis running in NYC. It felt like Armageddon. The streets were like canyons that you could run down, it had a Will Smith, I am Legend, feel. As we scrambled to find transportation to the airport, we cursed the taxis. How could the government let this happen? When thousands of taxis stop running, it impacts EVERYTHING!

Oh well, taxis are good, and taxis are bad. They make me curse, but they give me the freedom to explore!