Freeze Your A** Off 5K!

Another brilliant idea had by Fay and I - in our quest to do at least 1 5K every month, we decide to trek 1 hour and 15 minutes to Shelby Township, early in the morning, on the day of the Yearender.  Really, should have slept on this idea before signing up!

First of all, we drive to the ends of the earth to find out we do not even get a t-shirt for this race.  You have a choice of gloves or a head band.  WTF?  Really?  I am sure a medallion is definitely out of the picture now as well!

Second, I thought the race was called Freeze Your Fanny (apropos for January 28th in Michigan), but it was called Freeze Your Franny ( a mythical Maxine like funny looking lady), where people dressed up as her for a costume contest.  It should have been named "Freeze Your A** 5K" as we were being beat down by the sleet and the winds from the lake.

Lesson learned:  Take a break from 5Ks in January or find a tropical location to participate in them!

Come On Sea World - Reindeer Run 5K

Well now that I am a racing pro (with 2 races under my belt), I decided to get tricky and do the Reindeer Run at Sea World in Orlando, FL while Wendy, Sophia and I were visiting Mom and Dad.

Up at the crack of dawn again, we arrived at Sea World as giddy as two kids on Christmas morning.  We sprung from our car "to see what was the matter" (reference to Up on the Rooftop there).  Armed with coffee (provided by the race event company - smart, smart, company!), we spent our "warm-up" time taking pictures and checking out the Reindeer's, Santa's, and  Elves (aka runners dressed in nutty costumes).  That's when we realized we needed to get with the program and accessorize better at future races!

After a fun race, where we saw dolphins, sting rays and no Shamu (he was still in hair and makeup), we headed to the parking lot, where the fun began.  We could not remember where we parked!  In our excitement to be at Sea World, neither of us looked at the parking sign.  Faced with 5,000 racers and their autos and people arriving to the amusement park, we started to panic slightly.  That was until we saw the Sea World employee with the golf cart!  He could drive us around and help us find our car (aka Mom's car)!  As we approached, a woman was having a very animated conversation with him regarding the traffic jam in the parking lot.  Sea World had not done a great job directing racers out the lot, and there was gridlock!  After a lot of back and forth, she screamed "COME ON SEA WORLD!!!!" and stormed away.  That's when Wendy and I fell over laughing and decided the golf cart man had bigger fish to fry then helping us find our car.

After some deductive reasoning, we parked straight, not crooked, against a chain, we found our car and we were off to Starbuck's all the while yelling "COME ON SEA WORLD!"

The Turkey Trot or Why the Hell Am I Up So Early on Thanksgiving?

The next race that we thought was a good idea was the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning.  Why the hell did we think getting up and exercising on Thanksgiving would be fun?  We should be at home, nice and cozy, watching the parade, lazing around, preparing to stuff ourselves.

But no, here we were surrounded by 3,000 other nutters wearing turkey leg hats and pilgrim costumes, waiting to walk/run/crawl 5K as deer bounded by, causing the dogs at the race, that were not allowed, to go absolutely freakin' crazy!

And to top it off, this course was hilly!  I am not talking a gradual incline, I am talking, you need cramp-ons to make it up the hill, while down on all fours.  Fay didn't eat before the race (a common theme) and was starving about 1/3 of the way through.  As we contemplated our after race meal, being a holiday, what would be open? We joked that since Jimmy John's is so freaky fast, maybe they could deliver at kilometer marker 2 so we could finish the race!

As we huffed and puffed up the hill, out comes the smart phone, the McDonald's number researched and a call placed to ensure they would be open when we were done!  Having our priorities straight, we staggered up the final hill and finished the race.  Then, it was time for our Egg McMuffin!

The Start of an Obsession - the Detroit 5K Marathon

Whatever possessed Fay and I to sign up for a 5K walk, I have no idea.  Maybe we were bored?  Did we not have enough to do between a one year old, work, Jaycees and all our other commitments?  I think it boiled down to the fact that work was going to pay for mine, so why not?  Seemed like a good idea at the time.


It was a good idea at the time, until we had to get up at 4 something to get to Detroit for the race.  Then, we had to park in some creepy Cobo parking lot and walk a mile (or so it seemed) to the race area.  From there, after asking about 5 people where to pick up our packets, we finally found the registration table and were excited that we got official looking shirts (see picture above).  That's when we knew we were in over our heads.  We did not have appropriate walking shoes, we did not have a backpack to store our shirts and we most certainly did not want to walk back to the car to dump our stuff!


Of course, during the race, it rained, we were hot, we thought we were going to die several times of exhaustion, but we made it!  And guess what, we received a medallion when we finished!  Sure, it was only a Finisher Medallion, but nonetheless, we were hooked.


Our "runner's high" last all the way until we got home and made some breakfast.  As we did this, we registered for the Ann Arbor Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving.


Things were fine until we had to go off to Sophia's 1st Birthday party at Chelsea Teddy Bear Co., at 2 pm.  Then, the exhaustion took over.  We were hopped on sugar to survive 11 kids under 8 for 2 hours!


Things we learned at the race - 1) We need good shoes; 2) Don't plan a kid's birthday party in the afternoon; 3) Bring a back pack and the most important: If it seems like a good idea, sleep on it, and see if it is still a good idea!


My new obsession had begun, stay tuned!

Festive Fun in Florida

Wendy, Sophia and I went to Florida to visit my parents in December. It's weird to be able to go swimming two weeks before Christmas!

First, the flight down was a debacle! In between eating a container full of gold fish, Sophia screamed for 2 hours. That was bad enough, but when the flight attendant told me "you have a very cute kid, but I am glad she is getting off the plane", I went ballistic! Are you f'ing kidding me? Do you think I was having a party during this time? Wendy and I were tag teaming and nothing would calm her down. Thank you Delta for the 7,500 miles because of your dumb ass staff member!

The Reindeer Run 5K at Sea World that Wendy and I participated in was awesome! Of course, our pace was slower than normal as we stopped to watch the dolphins, take pictures and check out the park. Again, the adventure started at the end of the event. In our excitement to be at Sea World, we did not look where we had parked and now we were looking for our car in a lot that contained 5,000 participants and park goers.

We decided to approach the Sea World workers in a golf cart so they could drive us around to look for our car. As we approached, we saw a woman yelling at them because there was a traffic jam in the parking lot as no one was directing all the racers out. After going back and forth, the woman screamed "Come On Sea World!" and marched away. Wendy and I were in hysterics, we found our car without a golf cart ride and headed back to Mom and Dads.

The last event of the week, Shrek the Halls, a Ice Extravagnza. 2,000,000 pounds of ice all carved into the Christmas Shrek story. Who else could find an attraction which required winter clothing when it is 70 degrees outside? Sophia loved the mannequin Santa, until we stood in line for 20 minutes to see the real Santa and she started shrieking. Fun times!

Help the Holidays Have Begun!

"Randy lay there like a slug, it was his only defense." - A Christmas Story

The Holiday Seasons are always fraught with drama, uncontrollable chaos and way too much to do.

For me, the holiday season started off with going to see White Christmas at the Fox Theater with Jaime. Nothing says holidays like the panhandlers in Detroit. But it was cold and I was able to wear my Burberry scarf, so it put me in a festive mood!

Christmas pictures with Santa commenced. Even with Auntie Fay singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and generally making a fool of herself in the mall, only Mommy and Santa were smiling in the pictures. At least we were color coordinated!

Up next, the 5K Turkey Trot with Fay on Thanksgiving morning. Nothing prepared us for the hills, as we huffed and puffed on our day off. Fay got hungry in the middle of the walk and I believe we were the only walkers calling McDonald's during the race to see if they were open! We needed sustenance! If it wasn't so early, we toyed with Jimmy John's as they "are freaky fast" and deliver.

Day after Thanksgiving shopping. Again, why do people where costumes/outfits to inappropriate locations? No one wants to see your pajama pants and we definitely don't think you need to wear a hard hat while shopping. People like that tell me to stay away from them, as they are the ones that end up on the news for punching another shopper to save a buck or two.

All this in a span of 20 days, time to fortify myself for December!

Things That Make Me Laugh

I know it's Thanksgiving and I should be listing all the things that I am thankful for - my family, my friends, my job, my health, but I am thankful for those things every day. So, I decided that I should tell you things that have made me laugh this month.

1) First, this poem, compliments of Brian Palmby. I have no idea where he comes up with this shit but I can't wait for our night before Thanksgiving tradition!

Twas the night before Thanksgiving, and all through the bar
People were eating wings, as they came from afar.
The orders were told to the waitress with care,
In the hopes that the cold beer would soon be there....

"Now Medium! now, Mango Habanero! now, Mild and Garlic Parmesan!
On, Asian Zing! On, BBQ! on, on Teriyaki and Blazin!
To the top of the stomach! Eat this fireball!
Now eat away! Eat away! Eat away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard the Impala
The prancing and pawing of local fella.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Into the entrance Zeke came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Carharrt, from his head to his foot,
And his hoodies were all tarnished with wrenches and soot.
A bundle of alloys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a bachelor, just opening his six-pack.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Eating all the wings, even the last Caribbean-jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, he started bitch slapping all the Ho's!

He sprang to his Impala, not before taking a piddle,
And away he drove in cold November drizzle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Thanksgiving to all, and thanks for the invite!"

2) Sophia Frankenstein - she is starting to walk but she looks like Frankenstein trying to keep her balance! The squeals of delight when she gets to you and gets a hug is awesome!

3) Traverse City Toast the Season Wine Tour - This is always a good time. 8 wineries and 1 distillery in a day, how can you go wrong? But what I don't get is the people that wear boas, Santa hats and matching shirts. This is not a race, this is not a team event. You don't wear a boa to a fancy restaurant, why to a winery?

4) Breaking Dawn Part I Premiere - I have never seen so many teenagers decked out in Victoria Secret PINK apparel and Uggs in all my life. You would have sworn we were at the premiere with the stars with the amount of camera flashes that were going off! The Twilight trivia, the tweens yelling "Team Edward", " Team Jacob" and clapping certainly made sure the movie and the previews were not boring!

So Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!